Big Time Love
by Cayne Salem
Summary: This is story takes place when the boys are all 25 years old. Logan*OC. Complete
1. Chapter 1

**Big Time Secret:**

-Minnesota-

Logan awake alone in the Condo he shares with Carlos, normally he would hear him in the kitchen cooking and giggling about something that only he and God seem to know about. The two of them have be friends since the second grade, along with Kendall and James, but of course Kendall and he have been friends since the first grade. But for some reason unknown to him he grew very close to Carlos, the two of them would get into so much trouble together when they were younger and Carlos was there for him when he had his first heart break which is why Carlos is the only one that knows he is gay. While he and his friends were in LA doing the whole boy band thing, he secretly began to date a guy by the name of Thomas Scotchs at first everything seemed to be going great, the two of them hung out a lot but after a while Thomas became jealous of the bond he shared with his friends and he really didn't like the way Carlos would touch Logan. Logan would consentaly have to tell him that nothing was going on between him and Carlos and that Carlos was straight and that he had nothing to worry about, but it landed on deaf ears. They dated for about seven months but one night Thomas stopped by and he saw Logan and Carlos in the pool dunking each other and he filled up with some much rage that he sent his fist through a glass window before jumping back into his car a driving off. The next night when Logan went to see Thomas they got into a fight, Thomas had told him what he saw him and Carlos and how it made him feel, Logan told him that he and Carlos always played like that and it meant nothing. Thomas didn't believe him and well he did one thing that he would regret he punched Logan in the face. When Logan came back to the palmwoods he rushed into the room he shared with Carlos, lucky he wasn't there, he was out doing only god knows what with James. He buried his face in his pillow and before he knew it he was crying. It must have been three hours he stopped crying he could hear Carlos and James telling their little adventure to Kendall and his little sister Katie after awhile he could hear them laughing, normally he would have gone out there and joined them but he glanced in the mirror and noticed he had a black eye so rather then try to explain it to everyone he just stayed in his room. As he flopped back down on his bed he heard the door open which was followed by a giggle Carlos. And that was the night he came out to Carlos.

Logan walked out of his room hoping to find Carlos but he didn't instead he found Carlos' girlfriend; Michelle Anderson. "Hey Michelle, where's Carlos?" Carlos and Michelle have been dating for two years now, they met while Carlos was at an away game for the Minnesota Crocs and since then they have been together. Michelle is a short Hispanic girl with long black hair and her skin is a light white hue. She has brown eyes. "Oh Morning, Logan. Carlos went to the Ice rink." "Oh." Logan rubbed the back of his head as he yawned the sleep away, "So Logan did you work late at the hospital last night?" Michelle asked. "Yeah, it was like I was the only doctor on duty last night." Logan said. Since the band had broken up, Logan went to school and got his PHD and he is now a doctor, Carlos went on to become a NHL Player, Kendall and James remained singers but as solo artist and well James also Models and Katie as become an actress. Kendall married Jo the girl he met and dated while they were in the band and they have a two year old daughter name; Morgan. James was married to a girl named Sandra Bradly but they divorced leaving him a single father of twin boys named; Jaime and James, Jr. The only one who doesn't have someone in his life right now is Logan, sure he has dated since the whole Thomas thing but nothing serious came of his relationships on the fact that none of the guys could take not knowing when they would get to see him. "Oh by the way he did want me to tell you not to forget that Kendall and James will be arriving soon." Logan blinked his eyes in dumbness for the life of him he couldn't remember why Kendall and James were coming to Minnesota, "Do you remember why they're coming again, cause I kinda forgot." "Oh Logie, they're coming down for your mothers wedding, don't tell me you forgot about your own mother's wedding." Logan smiled, "Sorry I kinda did." "Oh Logie." She then ruffed his hair, "Well, when Carlos gets home tell him that I went with your mom to look at flowers." "Okay!" Logan shouted as she closed the door. He could remember the last time he saw Kendall and James, both he and Carlos had decided that they wanted to quit the band cause unlike Kendall and James it wasn't there dream and besides their hearts weren't into it anymore. So they told Kendall and James along with Gustavo and Kelly about their decision and they played one last concert as Big Time Rush and went their separate ways. He went back towards his room and flopped down on his bed as he slowly drafted back to sleep his mind filled up with images from the last time he spoke with Kendall and James.

-Five Years Ago-

Kendall and James are sitting by the pool at their mansion and Logan and Carlos are nowhere to be found, "Where are Logan and Carlos?" Kendall asked. "I don't know man, I haven't seem them since yesterday." James said. "I hope everything is okay with them." Kendall became worried about his friends lately both Logan and Carlos have been acting strange, they became distanced from both himself and James and at rehearsals they hardly did what they were told which enraged Gustavo and caused him to be extra hard on them and his yelling grew more and more every day. James looked up from the pool side and saw Logan and Carlos walking out of the door, "Well here they come maybe you can ask them." "Hey guys." Logan said. "Hey man where have you two been?" Kendall asked. "Listen we need to talk." Logan said. "Okay." Kendall stated, he and James climbed out of the pool and sat down in the chairs around the pool. "Okay well, me and Carlos are quitting the band." Both Kendall and James were in shock, they couldn't believe that they wanted to quit the band, they're famous and this was their dream, but then it hit Kendall this wasn't their dream, this was his and James' dream but not Logan's and Carlos'. Logan's dream was to become a doctor and Carlos wanted to play Hockey, that's when it all became clear to him that's why they have become distances with them and why they slacked off when it came to the band cause their hearts were no longer in it. "Are you sure about this?" James asked. "Yeah, I mean this was never my dream or Carlos'. I want to be doctor, I have always wanted to be a doctor." "Yeah man I want to be a pro-hockey player." Carlos said. "Well, I suppose there's nothing we can say to change your minds so if you need anything from us just give us a call, I mean hell you helped mine, our dream come true so I will do everything I can to make your dreams come true." James said, he then leaned over and hugged both of his friends. "Thanks James,but I think that my dream is something I need to do alone." Logan said, he glanced back at Kendall who wasn't making eye contact and he knew he was pissed. "Well if you need me I'll be there for you." James said, he released his friends, "Well, I need to go get changed I have to meet mom and Katie for dinner." Kendall said as he stood up and walked towards the house. They all stared at Kendall as he walked away, Logan was the only who knew he was pissed and most of all hurt, Logan and Kendall see each other as more then just friends they see each other as brothers. When Logan was a child his dad was a drunk and abusive towards him and his mother and when his father was in one of his drunken moods Logan would always run to Kendall's house and stayed there for days, he even calls Kendall's mom aunt. "What's with him?" Carlos asked. "Don't know." James stated, "So where are you gonna play hockey?" "I was thinking of going back home and play in Minnesota." Carlos said. "That's cool, so Logan where are you going to study to become a doctor?" "Here then I'm gonna move back to Minnesota and hope to get a job there." "Well, guys I'm happy for the both of you course I'll miss you but hey your following your dream." James said. "Yeah, hey I think I'm gonna go and check on Kendall." Logan stood up and headed towards the house. "Okay, see ya later!" James shouted.

Logan entered Kendall's room to find him just sitting on the end of his bed still in his wet clothes, "Ken is everything okay?" He looked up into Logan's eyes, "No." Logan walked farther into his room, "What's wrong? You left me and the guys outside without even saying anything." "What do you think is wrong, Logan?" Kendall said, "I mean you're leaving me, you're leaving the band what else could be wrong?" "Ken, listen I'm sorry but this isn't my dream, this isn't what I want to be. I never wanted to be a singer and you know that." "I know, but I just thought once you saw where this could take us you would change your mind. I mean I would have never come out here if it wasn't for you nor would I have if you couldn't." Kendall said. "Hell Logan you're the one who talked me into auditioning." "Ken, just because I'm not gonna be in the band doesn't mean this will change our relationships, you will always be my bro nothing will change that and besides dude I'm not leaving right away." Logan said. "What? What are you talking about?" Kendall asked. "I'm gonna go to school here then once I finish I'm gonna head back to Minnesota." Logan said. "Well, that's good, but still you say things won't change but I know that things will change, while you're studying me and James will be either performing or on tour and we won't be hanging out as much." Kendall said. "Ken, things will only change if you let things change, now come on, stop looking at the native and start looking at the positive." Logan gave Kendall his little boyish smile, "Okay, okay, I'm sorry bro it's just I don't want to see you go that's all." "I know Ken, but it's time I follow my dream." Logan said.

-Present Day-

Logan is brought out of his sleep with loud banging on his front door, he lazily climbed out of his bed and moaned out the banging which is still happening, "Alright already I'm coming stop with the banging!" But of course it didn't stop who ever was behind the door was gonna hear it from him, he hated to be brought of his sleep especially when he has only had about three hours of it. He swung open the door, "Enough with the damn banging!" On the other side of the door was Kendall and James with his two sons, "Hey Logan." James said. Logan's vision cleared up, "Oh hey guys, sorry." "It's okay man we should be sorry Carlos said he was gonna pick us up at the airport I guess he forgot." "Yeah I think he did." Logan stepped aside and let his friends in and his two nephews, "Hi uncle Logan." Jaime said. "Hey there." Logan side as he bent down and hugged his nephews. "Boys go put your things in the extra room." James said. "Okay, daddy." Little James said. As the boys rushed towards the room that was set up for them Kendall, James and Logan walked into the living room, "So Logan how has everything been?" Kendall asked. "Great, Carlos' hockey career is taking off. My job at the hospital is great I love what I do." "That's great man but who wouldn't enjoy saving lives everyday when they go to work." James said. "True but I can't save them all." Logan said. Kendall looked at Logan he knew something was wrong ever since childhood they could always tell when something was bothering them, Logan would try his best to hid it but he couldn't Kendall would just let him believe he did. "Logan what's wrong?" Logan smiled, "Nothing." "Logan don't lie to me I know when somethings is bothering you, so what's wrong." Kendall asked. "Seriously nothing is bothering me." Logan stated. "Logan." Kendall gave him the gaze and he knew it meant he wasn't gonna let up till he told him what was bothering him, "Okay, it's just the other day while at work a little boy was brought in and I couldn't do anything to save him." Logan said. "Oh man I'm sorry to hear that what happened?" Kendall asked. "Well, he had fallen from his roof and hit his head on a large rock." Logan said. "How old was he?" James asked. "He was 11, it's just I couldn't save him. Why couldn't I save him?" Logan began to break down in tears. Kendall wrapped his arms around him, "Hey man it's okay it's wasn't your fault." "Yeah man it's like you said you try your best to save everyone and sometimes you just can't." James said. "I know but it's just hurts so much when I can't save a child." Logan said. "And then I have to see the pain in the eyes of the parents and that hurts even more." "I know it does man but all you can do is try your hardest and hope for the best." Kendall said. "I know but it still hurts." Logan said, "Well let me go change and we can talk some more." "Okay." Both Kendall and James said. Logan walked into his room and shut the door behind him, what he had told Kendall and James was a lie, he did lose someone last night but it wasn't a little kid, it was his boyfriend or at least that's what he thought he was. For the past four months Logan was dating a guy named; Miguel Martinez, but last night he caught him cheating on him. That's the reason why Logan hasn't been able to sleep he keeps blaming himself for it cause he always seems to fall for the wrong the guy, almost every boyfriend he has had has either broken up with him or cheated on him. As he sat down on his bed he heard the door open which was then followed by Carlos' loud mouth. He quickly changed then headed out of his room to rejoin his friends, "Hey Car." Logan said. "Hey Logie, say where did Michelle go?" "Oh yeah she went with my mom to look at flowers." Logan sat down next to James while Kendall sat near the kitchen and Carlos on the sofa. " So guys what's been going on in LA and Hollywood?" Carlos asked. "Not much I just got finished with a tour and James is set to start a tour in two months." Kendall said. "Really that's great." Carlos stated. "Say guys listen I need to tell you something." Logan said. "Yeah sure bro what is it?" Kendall asked. "Well, I don't quite know how to say this but it's something that I have been hiding for years now." Logan glanced at Carlos, "I'm gay." It went silent, neither Kendall or James said anything all they did was stare at Logan. Carlos stood up, "Guys is everything okay?" James snapped back into reality, "What? Yeah man everything is cool. I kind of suspected already. I mean Logan never really goggled over girls like we did." "Bro, its cool I love you regardless." Kendall said. Logan was happy he didn't quite know how they would take it, he thought they would hate him for being gay but nope his friends loved him regardless. He glanced at Kendall and once again he saw hurt in his eyes and he knew why it was because of the fact that he hid it from him for so long.

-Later-

All the guys had went to a near by bar leaving James' twins with Michelle who actually volunteered to watch cause she knew the guys would want to celebrated and spend sometime together. "So Logan are you dating anyone?" James asked. "No not at the moment." Logan said, he then took a slip of his beer, "I was dating someone but it didn't work out like I wanted it to." "Aww sorry to hear that man." James said. "It's okay." Logan stated. "Yeah the guy was a major asshole anyways." Carlos snapped. "Car, you promised." Logan hissed at him. Both Kendall and James looked at each other, "Is there something we're missing here?" A no and yes came at them from Carlos and Logan, "Okay then why do I get the feeling there is and you just don't want to tell us Logan?" Kendall asked. "Cause there isn't." Logan said. "Yes there is Logan and you should tell them." Carlos said. "No, Car, now drop it." Logan snapped. "Logan, you can us if you want to we aren't gonna force you." James said. "Well, I think he should tell you and if he doesn't I will." Carlos said. Now Logan was enraged, "You know what Carlos fuck you." He stood up from his chair and walked outside. "Carlos what the hell man, why would you do that?" Kendall asked. "What I'm sick of his crap, I'm sick of seeing him in his depressed moods cause he just found out that his boyfriend is an asshole." Carlos said. "I get that man I wouldn't want to see him like that either but you know how emotional Logan is. You know how he gets sometimes." James said. "But you two don't see what I see, I mean his first boyfriend was back in LA when we were a band and that guy hit him, then his second boyfriend messed up his head, then there was the guy that abused him and know this guy cheated on him. I just wish he could find the right guy that would just simply love him." Carlos said.

Logan sat down on the railing of the porch of the bar, he glanced out at the starry night sky this was one of the many reasons why he was glad he moved back to Minnesota cause in LA you can't see the stars, well, not the ones in the sky anyway. He sighed as a light breeze blow by, the door of the bar slowly cricked open, "Hi." Logan turned to the sight of a guy who looked to be either his age or maybe older, he had short dark hair, he looked to be as tall as himself and he was wearing just a plain shirt and blue jeans. "Hi." "Nice night uhh?" "Yeah I love nights like this." Logan said. The guy held his hand out, "My name is River." "I'm Logan." He placed his hand in his and they shook. "So why are you out here all alone?" River asked. Logan smiled he thought that this guy was cute, "Well, I just got into a little fight with my friends." "Oh what was the fight about if you don't mind me asking." River said. "It was just something stupid I'm not even mad about it I just needed a breath of fresh air." "Ah well, you won't mind if I join you?" River asked. "Nope." Logan stated. River stood next to Logan and they began to talk, Kendall walked outside, "Hey Logan is everything okay?" Logan looked up, "Yeah I'm cool I needed some fresh air that's all." "Well, the guys were wondering if you were coming back in?" "Yeah I'm coming." Logan turned towards his new found friend, "Well it was nice to meet you River." "Yeah same here." River smiled at Logan as he turned and headed back inside with Kendall. "So who was that?" Kendall asked. "Oh just some guy I met his name is River." Logan said. "Logan, Carlos told us about your past relationships what I don't get is why you didn't just tell me, you know I would have protected you bro." "I know but I just couldn't deal with it I thought if I hid it, it would just go away and I wouldn't have it deal with it anymore." Logan said. "Logan things like that would never go away all you can do is hope that you will never have to go through something like that again and lean on your friends for support when you need it." "Thanks, Ken." Logan leaned on his shoulder, Kendall wrapped his arm around him, "Besides now I can help you find the right guy cause if I find out that any guy hits you I'll kick their ass." Logan smiled, "I know bro." They rejoined Carlos and James at the table, "Hey listen I'm sorry Logan, I didn't mean anything I said." "I know Car, it's okay." Just as all four of them downed a shot the owner of the bar stepped onto a small platform and placed a microphone up to his lips, "Good evening, is everyone having a good time." Everyone cheered, "Good well, listen we have a very special person here tonight so would you all give around of applause for the one and only River Deveruax." Everyone cheered as a young man stepped onto the stage Logan looked up and noticed that he was the guy that he had just met outside. River stepped up to the microphone, "Okay well since I don't have my band with me I guess I'll just sing without music, so here goes."


	2. River's Song Kelly Clarkson Hear Me

**Kelly Clarkson:**** 'Hear Me'**

Hear me

Hear me

You gotta be out there

You gotta be somewhere

Wherever you are

I'm waiting

'Cause there are these nights when

I sing myself to sleep

And I'm hopin' my dreams

Bring you close to me

Are you listening?

Hear me

I'm cryin' out

I'm ready now

Turn my world upside down

Find me

I'm lost inside the crowd

It's getting loud

I need you to see

I'm screaming for you to please

Hear me

Hear me

Hear me

Can you hear me?

Hear me

I used to be scared of

Letting someone in

But it gets so lonely

Being on my own

No one to talk to

And no one to hold me

I'm not always strong

Oh, I need you here

Are you listening?

Hear me

I'm cryin' out

I'm ready now

Turn my world upside down

Find me

I'm lost inside the crowd

It's getting loud

I need you to see

I'm screaming for you to please

Hear me

I'm restless and wild

I fall, but I try

I need someone to understand

Can you hear me?

I'm lost in my thoughts

And baby I'm far

For all that I've got

Can you hear me?

Hear me

I'm cryin' out

I'm ready now

Turn my world upside down

Find me

I'm lost inside the crowd

It's getting loud

I need you to see

I'm screaming for you to please

Hear me

Hear me

Hear me

Hear me

Can you hear me?

Hear me

Hear me

Hear me

Can you hear me?

Oh, oh, oh, oh...

Hear me

Hear me

Hear me


	3. Chapter 2 Logan's Pain

Well, here you go Hikari of Death i hope you like it, i hope i did a good job.

* * *

After River walked down from the stage he went over to the bar to get a few drinks for himself and his friends, he was then tapped on his shoulder, "Oh hey Logan, what's up?" "That was amazing." "Oh you saw that uhh?" "Yeah." Logan smiled his little boyish smile, "You were great." "Thanks man." "So are you a singer or do you just sing whenever?" Logan asked. "I'm a singer, I'm signed to a Recorder company called Pride Recordings." River said. "Ah, I use to sing in a band but I quit so I could become a doctor." Logan said. "Well, that's great man, you followed your dreams and that's all that matters." River smiled at him. "So do you live in Minnesota?" "No, I live in Houston my uncle is getting married so me and my siblings came for the wedding." River said. "Ah well, that's good." Logan turned towards his bros who where by now starring at him in confusion, "Well, I best be getting back to my friends." "Say Logan, listen here's my number give me a call tomorrow and maybe we can hang out." River handed Logan a piece of paper with his number written down on it. Logan took the paper, "Yeah that's sounds good I'll call you tomorrow, Bye." "Bye Logan." River watched as he walked away and rejoined his friends who patted him on his back with smiles on the their faces.

-Next Day-

Logan awoke with an aching headache and it was pounding or at least something was causing it to pound, he slowly climbed out of his bed and moaned. He didn't bother to open his curtains cause he knew if he did the sun light would no will hurt his eyes. "Oh god I drank way to much last night." He threw open his bathroom door, turned the water on so he could take a shower and maybe just maybe his headache will go away. He slowly removed his clothes as he glanced in the mirror he saw a large scar on his back, the scar he got when he was about six years old, or rather his father gave it to him when he hit him on the back with the broom, he hates that scar cause no matter what he does it's always there. He climbed into the shower and as soon as the warm water hit his body he sighed a great relief, not only was his head hurting his muscle were aching as well, "Oh god that feels good." As Logan showered his mind wondered back to last night before he consumed all of the booze, he remembers sitting outside of the bar in the cool breeze gazing up at the stars, then he remembers the angelic face of River and his soft sweet voice on the mic, for some odd reason when he sang Logan could have sworn that James was up on the stage because their voices sounded the same. His eyes shot wide open as he smacked himself on the forehead cause it just hit him that River gave him his number and told him to call him. He quickly jumps out of the shower and throws a towel around his waist and darts out of the bathroom. He began a deadly search for the pants he wore last night, normally he would have slept in pajama bottoms and a shirt and place his jeans in the restroom, but being that he was drunk last night he has no idea how his clothes got off him. After for what seemed like forever he found his jeans under his bed, he reached into his back left pocket and found the paper with River's number on it, he stared at it wondering when or even if he should call. He placed the piece of paper on the table next to his bed then headed back into the rest room to finish getting dressed.

Logan walked out his room fully dressed with the paper in his hands to the sight of Kendall and James drunk sleeping in the living room-Kendall is only wearing his pants and James is semi-nude he is in his underwear-. He placed a blanket over both of them he didn't want the boys nor did he want Michelle to see them like that. As he walked into the kitchen Carlos stepped out of his room, "Morning." "Morning." Logan whispered back, "Hey do you remember anything about last night, like how we got home?" Carlos shook his head, "Nope. You?" "I can remember a little, like I remember meeting River and him giving me his number but I can't remember for the life of me how we got home." Carlos giggled, "Neither do I but it seems you remember the best part of your night. Like meeting a guy and getting his number." "Way to go Logie!" Kendall shouted from the living room. And with that said Kendall, James and Carlos bust out laughing, "Shut up you all!" Logan shouted. "So do you guys think I should call him?" James jumped up causing the blanket to slide off his body, "I say you do but not right away give it some time let him wish he had gotten your number." Kendall covered his eyes, "Dude put some pants on." Now only Carlos and Logan were laughing. Cause they remember back when they were are still a band and had to share a bathroom only Kendall had problem with how James would sleep in his underwear and not really caring who saw him but of course he was respectful of Ms. Knight and Katie but when it came to the boys he didn't care. Logan didn't have a problem with it cause when he would stay with cousins most of his males cousins would sleep like that and Carlos didn't mind it cause having five brothers these type of things happen. "No." James stated proudly. "Dude seriously put some pants on." Kendall used his leg to trip James causing him to hit the floor hard. "Ouch." James stood up rubbing his butt, "Ah well, I need a shower anyways." He walked towards the extra bathroom and closed the door behind him. "So Ken, what do you think? Do you think I should call him?" Logan asked. "Logan only you can answer that question it really shouldn't matter what we think cause of course we think you should call him but what do you want to do?" Logan stared at the paper, he wanted to call River but that would have to wait cause right now he needed to get to the hospital it was his shift. He grabbed his car keys, "Well, guys I'll see you all later I need to get to the hospital." "Bye Logie." Carlos said. Kendall just waved bye he was to tired and to hung over to speak, "So Kendall how is Jo?" Carlos asked. "She's doing great, she would have come but the doctor won't let her fly and Morgan was sick." "Ah well I hope she gets better and I wish Jo could be here to see Logan's mom's wedding." "Yeah she is sad that she'll miss it but y'know she has to look after her well being." Kendall said. "I hear ya man." Carlos stood up, "Well, I'll be back later I gotta go pick up Michelle's dress for her cause she is at work." "Okay, Carlos see ya later." Kendall shouted as Carlos walked of the Condo.

As Logan drove towards the hospital his mind began to wonder back to the day his father gave him the scar placed on his back, it was a hot summers day Logan and his second best friend Michael were swimming in a near by pound in only their underwear of course at that age it was a natural thing to do and Logan's mom didn't mind it cause he was little after all. But once his dad saw him like that playing with another boy in his underwear he saw it as a faggot thing to do and refused to let his son turn out to be a faggot, he pulled Logan out of the water and yelled at him telling him to go to his room and wait for him there. His father then pulled Michael out of the water, told him to get dress and go home. Logan still in his wet underwear sat in the corner of his room near the window crying, when his father entered all he could do was cry even harder and put his hands out hoping to stop him but to no a veal, his father smack him across the face cause his cheek to turn a pinkish reddish color and blood to spill from his mouth. Logan cried even more after that, his father then smacked him again this time on the other cheek. He then tossed Logan on his bed, "You will not be a little faggot, you hear me!" Logan just cried his eyes out, "Stop your crying!" Logan tried to stop crying but he just couldn't, "Stop crying!" His dad then left the room but it wasn't long before he returned with the broom, "Stop crying!" He then swung the broom and hit Logan on his back breaking it and causing a large cut to open up with blood flowing out. "Now you stop that crying or you'll get more." Logan closed his mouth and the tears stopped flowing from his eyes, "Now go clean yourself up." His father watched him walked into the bathroom leaving a trail of blood, "Then clean up this blood!" As Logan pulled into the parking garbage of the hospital he laid his head on his steering wheel and began to cry that day still hurt him, he removed his head from the steering wheel and cleaned his eyes, "Come on Logan pull yourself together. You can't go in there crying." He stepped out of his car, "God why did I think of that day I haven't thought of that day in years." He walked up to the elevator and pushed the button it didn't take long for the doors to slide open and when they did a man that was taller then Logan and much larger, wearing a black shirt with a tan jacket and blue jeans stood in front of him, "Hello Logan." Logan was speechless, he couldn't believe his eyes, "Dad?"


	4. Chapter 3 River's Story Part 1

-Deveruax Household-

River awoke in the room he is sharing with his three brother's, while he and his twin brother; Johnny sleep on the floor, his eldest brother; Presley is sound asleep on the bed and his second older brother; Hudson is sleeping on a roll away bed. His sister Lucy is sleeping in another room along with their eldest sister Mae and her two year old son Alec. His mind drifted back to last night and meeting Logan, he never imagined that he could meet someone once again and fall for them so quick. River has never had any luck when it came to the men he dates, his first boyfriend was a closeted gay who was fearful of anyone finding out he was gay so that didn't go or end well. His second boyfriend he met while he was touring, the guy was a fellow singer but every time they were apart that guy would sleep with any guy that gave him the chance. His third boyfriend was so messed up emotionally that it was so hard for him to show even the slightest feelings towards him and on top of that he was heavily into drugs and his last boyfriend committed suicide in their apartment. Well, now he is single and is enjoying it at the moment, he jumped up cause he just remembered that he gave Logan his number he scrambled to his cell phone which was charging near the window, he checked but there was no missed calls. "Don't worry bro he'll call, trust me he likes you." Johnny whispered so he wouldn't wake his other bothers. "I know I just wanted to make sure." River said, "Listen I'm gonna go for a walk." "Okay, I'll go with you so we can talk." Johnny stood up slipped on his shirt and jeans and shoes and followed his brother outside. River and Johnny are twin brothers but they are totally different in every way you can think of; they don't look alike at all. River has dark brown hair while Johnny has dirty blonde hair, River has bright green eyes while Johnny has jet black eyes, River is gay and a singer and Johnny is straight and NFL player but they are still very close and Johnny actually protects him from being hurt in anyway. They along with their brother Hudson and his twin Lucy have been raised by their older brother Presley and older sister Mae, their mother well has never really been in the picture since she was an actress and their father split even before they were born. His older sister and older brother have the same father, and of course Hudson and Lucy have the same but River and Johnny have a different father from their siblings, which makes them half brothers and sisters.

Johnny placed his arm over his brother's shoulders, "So you wanna tell me what's bothering you?" River smiled at his brother he knew that he could always count on him to try and get it out of him, usually he would make him work for it and try everything to get it out of him but today and on this specific topic he needed advice right away. "I'm just thinking about last night that's all." "Ah." Johnny nodded his head, "You mean you're thinking of that guy you met last night?" "Yeah, I'm thinking of Logan." River said. "Well, you gave him your number you showed him that you're interested so now the ball is in his court and if he likes you he'll call." Johnny smiled at his brother, "Besides who could say no to you, look at you." River nudged his brother, "Stop that. That's not the problem." "Then what's the problem?" "The problem is you know how I have a problem of falling for the wrong type of guy." River said. "I know bro but hey we all go through assholes and crazies till we find that right someone. I think it's natures way of per pairing us for them. I mean of course we want to find the right person right away but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way." Johnny said. "I know bro it's just that I have been through so much shit that I really don't want to go through some more." River said. "Don't worry bro I'm here to for you if anything like that happens you know that I'll kick anyone's ass for you." "Thanks bro." River gave his brother a hug, "So how are things with you and Mandy going?" "Good it's just her father that's the problem." "Really, I thought he liked you?" River questioned. "Well, he did but when she told him that we had broken up for a short while he stopped liking me." Johnny said. "Well can you blame him, I mean you say you love her and then you break up with her only to get back with her it's confusing." River said. "I know." Johnny said, "But hey I'm thinking of asking her to marry me." River's face let up, "That's great bro, she's perfect for you." "Thanks, now I just gotta run it by Pres and you know how he is." Johnny said. "Who cares how he feels you are 25, you can do what you want without his approval." River said. "You're right. Well, I'm gonna head back in you coming?" "Na, I think I'm gonna hang out here for a little while." River said. "Okay, see you in a bit." Johnny said. River watched as his brother ran back towards the house, he then sat down under a tree and laid his head back and closed his eyes. As he rested there his mind wandered back to the time he was with his boyfriend Jarrod Austin.

-A Year Ago-

River walked into the apartment he shared with his boyfriend of two years; Jarrod Austin. "Jarr, I'm home!" He called out as he walked into the kitchen and placed a brown paper bag on the small table. "Jarr, are you here?" He then walked towards their bedroom, "Jarrod are you here?" He opened the door to a horrifying sight, he saw his boyfriend hanging there from their ceiling fan, his eye's were open wide with fear and stained from tears. River's mouth dropped as tears flowed from his eyes, he quickly placed a chair under him and climbed on top of it and pushed him up hoping there was still a breath of life in him but that was not meant to be. He then pulled him down and placed him on the floor, "Oh god, why?" He then took out his cell phone and dialed 911, "911 what is your emergence?" "Yeah my name is River and I need a ambulance my boyfriend hung himself." After giving the 911operator his address he hung his phone up, then called his brother Johnny who only lives three apartments down from him. Johnny burst through his front door then ran into the bedroom, "Oh god, Riv, I'm so sorry." He quickly took his brother into his arms and held him tightly as he cried into his chest, "It's okay bro. Everything will be alright, I'm here now." "Don't leave me bro." River sobbed out. "Don't worry I'm not going anywhere." A few seconds later the EMT's walked into the apartment, "Hello?" "We're in here!" Johnny called out. The EMT's entered the room with a stretcher in their hands, "I'm so sorry." They then placed Jarrod's body in a black bag then onto the stretcher and zipped it up and then they left. As soon as they left River handed Johnny a piece of paper with something written on it. "Look at his note." Johnny looked at the note, 'I'm sorry but I just can't go on anymore. The pain is too much. I love you River I thought that being with you would help and all the pain would go away but it didn't. Please don't cry over me I'm not worth crying over, I know that you loved me so don't ever ask yourself if I knew that. Tell my mom that I love her and that I am sorry. Tell me dad that I'll see him in hell. Tell my brother and sister that I loved them too. Bye my Star.' Johnny dropped the note on the bed near them and held his brother even tighter after reading that cause he knows that no matter what the note said his brother was in pain and he was crying over Jarrod cause in River's eyes he was no he is worth crying over.


	5. Chapter 4

-Hospital-

Logan just stared, he was dumbfounded, he couldn't believe that his father was standing right in front of him, his father stepped forward, "What, no hug for your dear o'dad?" Logan said nothing as his father pulled him into his arms before he knew it his whole body began to shake and he was having trouble breathing. His father let him go, "Logan are you okay?" "Y-y-y-yes." "No you're not, you're having trouble breathing and you're shaking sit down, son." His father helped him to a bench and sat him down, "There now take slow breathes." Logan inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, "Dad what're you doing here?" "I'm here to see you, Logan." Logan stared at his father he couldn't believe that he came to see him after everything he has put him through, "Really?" "Yes." His father sat down next to him, "Listen Logan I know what I did to you when you were younger is something that you can't forget but I'm hoping you can forgive me for it cause I swear to you I'm so sorry for it and I would like to make up for it." Logan looked into his father's eyes and he could see the sorrow, pain, and shame in them, "Dad I-I-I-I don't know." he lowered his head not wanting to look his father in the eyes after he had said that. His dad placed his arm over his shoulder, "Logan it's okay I understand if you need some time to think this over, I don't expect you to forgive me right away or over night I know that it might take some time but I just hope that during that time we can hang out and be father and son." Logan smiled he has always wanted to be close to his father but that never happened but now after all these years maybe that could become a reality, "Dad I-I-I-I c-c-c-can't not now. I don't think I can ever forgive you for what you did to me and mom." His father removed his arm from around his shoulder, "I understand son, well, I guess I should go I can see you were headed to work." His dad stood up, "I'm sorry dad." Logan stated as he looked up at him, "It's okay." Logan watched as his father walked away and get into a Chevy truck. As the truck drove away he took his cell out of his pocket and dialed Kendall's number. "Hey, Ken, listen can you come to the hospital I really need someone to talk to right now. Okay see you then, bye." He hung up his phone but before he put it back into his pocket he took out the piece of paper with River's number on it and entered it into his phone and pressed talk. It rang three times before it went to voice mail, "Hey River, it's Logan I was just giving you a call like you asked. So you have my number now, so give me a call back." Just after he put his phone into his pocket Kendall walked up to him, "What's up, bro? Shouldn't you be at work?" Logan looked up at him and Kendall saw pain in his eyes, "Logan what's wrong?" "My dad stopped by." "Oh." Kendall sat down next to him, "I'm sorry bro." Kendall knows of all the pain and hurt that Logan's father as caused him, cause most of the time after his father had just gotten done beating him his house is where Logan would run to and Kendall would protect him and watch over him while they were at school. "So what'd he want?" "He asked me if we could be father and son. He wanted me to forgive him for what he did to me as a child." "Oh man." Kendall sighed, "What'd you tell him?" "I told him I that I don't think I can ever forgive him for what he did to me and my mother." Logan laid his head on Kendall's shoulder, "Well, that's understandable I mean he treated both you and your mom like shit. How does he expect you to forgive him just because he has changed?" "I know but Ken, he is my father." Logan said. "True but he left you Lo, where has he been all of these years?" Kendall said. "I know." By this point Logan began to cry on Kendall's shoulder, "Shh, bro it's okay I'm here and I won't let anything happen to you." Logan just cried on his friends shoulder, "Hey man I don't think you should go into work today." Kendall said. "Me neither but I have to no one else is able to pull the shift." Logan sobbed out. "Are you sure you should go in like this?" Kendall said. "Yeah I'm not gonna let my dad control me like he did when I was a kid." Logan lifted his head off of Kendall's shoulders, he then wiped his eyes clean. "Well, if you're going to work then I'm gonna stay near by just in case." Kendall said. "Okay, thanks bro." Logan said. "Not a problem." Both Logan and Kendall stood up and walked into the elevator.

-A Few Hours later-

Logan had been at the hospital for for a few hours now and he has seen patient after patient non stop but finally he was able to get some rest so he ducked into a locker room area and laid down on one of the benches in there, "Oh god it feels good to relax." He closed his eyes, he then began to dream of his past; it was a bright sunny day in Minnesota, a ten year old; Logan and his cousin Holt; who is two years old then him are playing a game of football in their back yard. Holt had thrown the ball to Logan who did not see the low tree branch and well, he smacked himself in the forehead as he hit the floor tears formed in his eyes. Holt ran over to him, "Logan, are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm-I'm fine." Logan said. Logan's father stepped out of the house, "Logan get up and stop being such a baby!" Both Logan and Holt looked towards the back door and saw his father there with a beer in hand starring at that, "Get up boy!" Logan and Holt watched as his father stumbled towards them, Logan froze he didn't nor could he move, Holt jumped up, "I'm sorry uncle Brandon it's was my fault I forgot that we were playing touch football and I tackled him." "Holt go wait in the car and aunt Holly will drive you home." "But uncle Brandon." Holt stated. "Go!" Brandon shouted. Holt looked back at Logan who by now is curled up in a ball on the grass, he then ran towards the front of the house, "Get up boy!" Brandon shouted at his son. Logan didn't move a muscle, "I said get up!" Brandon forcefully pulled his son up and pulled him into the house. As soon as they were inside he tossed him to the floor, "You will learn to stop acting like such a baby even if I have to beat you everyday till you learn." Brandon removed Logan's shirt, then he removed his belt, "You wanna cry? Here cry about this!" Brandon swung the belt at his son's back about five times and Logan cried out in pain, "Stop crying!" He then smacked him on the back several more times and again Logan cried out, "Stop crying!" Again his father smacked him on the back with his belt but by this time blood flowed from his back some even flew on the kitchen table and chairs. But again Logan couldn't help it he still cried, "Stop crying!" He lifted his belt again but before he could hit him his mother came running in through the front door, "Stop it! Stop it!" she threw herself over Logan. "Move woman!" Brandon shouted. "No stop hitting him you're going to kill him!" "Move out of the way now!" "No!" Brandon could hear Logan's cries from under his mother which just angered him even more, "Move!" "No!" Holly shouted. "Fine." Brandon dropped the belt, "You can't protect him all the time." She watched as his father walked out of the house, "Come on sweetie let's get you cleaned up." She pick Logan up in her arms and carried him up to the bathroom. Logan opened his eyes to the sight of Kendall standing in front of him, "I was looking for you." "Oh sorry man I needed some rest." He stood up, he then checked the time, "Oh man I should have left by now my replacement should be here." He walked of the room and saw a female doctor standing a few feet away talking to a nurse, "I'm so sorry Dr. Lee I fell asleep in the locker room." Logan said. "It's okay Dr. Mitchell I understand, so I take it you'll be leaving now?" Dr. Lee asked. "Yes but my phone is on so if you need me all you have to do is call." Logan said. "Okay, have a nice day Dr. Mitchell." Dr. Lee said. Logan walked to his car and as he climbed in his phone rang, "Hello? Oh hey River, yeah I called I was just giving you call seeing if maybe you wanted to maybe hang out tonight? Yeah sure I'll meet you there, bye." A smiled plastered it's self on his face as he hung up his phone finally after all the painful memories and his father showing up something good has come his way.

-The Condo-

Logan was smiling as he walked into the Condo which caught the eyes of both James and Carlos, "Whoa looks like someone had a good day at work." Carlos walked up to Logan and placed his arm around his shoulders, "So tell me what was his name?" "Very funny, Car." Logan pushed him away, "But no I got a date with River tonight." "Alright, Logan." James stated. "Stop it's nothing like that okay I'm just gonna meet him for drinks and talk where it goes from there who knows." Logan said. "Still man I remember when you had trouble asking girls out." James said. "Of course back then I didn't realize it was because you weren't into them." "Yeah sorry I put you through that whole thing Jay." Logan said. "It's okay man. So where's Kendall he said he was gonna go see you at the hospital?" James said. "Yeah he did but then he said he was gonna go stop by and see his mother." Logan said. "Oh okay." James stated. "So Logie, Kendall called us and told us that your dad is back I hope you don't mind." Carlos said. "No I was actually gonna tell you two that as soon as I got home." Logan said. "He wants to be a father and son again and he wants me to forgive him for everything he did to me as a child." "Oh man that's gotta be hard for you cause I know what he put you through was hell." James said. "Logie, how did you take it when you saw his face?" Carlos asked. "I was in shock, he hugged me which cause my body to shake and I was having trouble breathing. And I told him that I didn't think I could ever forgive him for what he did to me." Logan said. "Well, I hope he respects your decision and let's you come to him." Carlos said. "Logie, your mom called she said that he stopped by her house to and wanted to talk." "Oh man I should call her and see what happened." Logan said, he then removed his cell from his pocket and dialed his mother's number, "Hey mom." Carlos and James watched as he walked into his room, "Carlos what do you think his dad is up to?" James whispered. "I have no idea but I hope he doesn't hurt Logan in anyway cause if he does he'll have to answer to me." Carlos said. "You mean us, cause you know there is no way in hell that I'm gonna let him hurt Logan again." James said. "Yeap, I wonder how Kendall is taking this cause after he was the one who found Logan that night." Carlos said, "Maybe we should call him and make sure everything is okay?" "Maybe but let's just ask him when he comes home, I mean he's with his mom after all." James said. "Alright." Carlos stated, "Besides Michelle is on her way home and I know she's gonna wanna go get something to eat."


	6. Chapter 5 River's Story Part 2

-Deveruax Household-

River is still sitting under the tree when all three of his brothers walked outside, "River, what're you doing?" Presley called out. "Nothing I'm just sitting here thinking that's all." River called back. "Okay!" Presley replied. "Pres, how do you think he is holding up? I know it's been two months since Jarrod's death but something like that you just don't get over, overnight." Hudson said. "I think he's doing fine. Y'know Riv, he could never hid his emotions from anyone." Presley said. "You're right but what if he doesn't want us to see him broken down." Hudson asked. "Why wouldn't he? He knows that we're here for him, all of us, if he needs to talk about it." Presley said, "John, has he said anything to you?" "Nope." Johnny said. "Well, then all we can do is wait for him to come to us." Presley said. The three of them then climbed into his car, "So why does auntie need to see us again? And why are we to leave Riv here?" Johnny asked. "I don't know really she just called and asked me to bring only you two to her." Presley said as he started the car. River watched has his three brothers drove off and two questions played in his head; one where are they going? And two why didn't they ask him to come along? Oh well, he laid down on the grass and glared up at the sky, the sun was beaming down on his face, "Ah well, I think I'm gonna lay here a little while longer." He closed his eyes and his mind was with filled with memories of his past; a sixteen year old Johnny walks into the room he shares with his twin brother to find him crying on his bed. He walks over to him, "Riv, are you okay?" River looked up at his brother with tear filled eyes, "It's Aron again isn't it?" River didn't give him a response, "I knew it! That asshole!" He sat down next to his brother and wrapped him up in his arms, "It's okay Riv, I'll make him pay for what he has done to you." "No, Jon leave him alone I don't wish to see him again." River sobbed out. "Fine, I'll leave him alone for you, bro." Johnny said. Just then there was a knock on their door, "River, Aron is here to see you!" Lucy called from behind the door. "I'll take care of him." Johnny said as he released his brother and stood up. "No. Let him in." River stated. "Are you sure?" Johnny asked. "Yes, I'll be fine." River stated, "He won't try anything here with all of you here." "Okay but I'm staying by the door." Johnny said, he then opened the door and let Aron in. "River, I'm sorry I didn't mean for this to happen." Aron said as he knelt down in front of him. "Why, Aron? Why?" That was all River could say, "I don't know why. I was weak. I was lonely. I wanted it." Aron said, "I know what I did was wrong but I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry, I love you very much please don't leave me." "I'm sorry Aron I can't forgive you for this you betrayed my love and trust." River said. "Damn it, River why can't you see that I love you." Aron said, he stood up. "I thought you loved me but after what you did all it did was show me who you truly are." River said he then climbed off his bed. "River I love you and I won't let you go." Aron forcefully grabbed River's arm, "Ow, Aron let me go. You're hurting me." "No you are mine!" Aron shouted he then punched River in his jaw and he fell to the floor, "If I can't have you no one will." "Aron, you're scaring me." River said. Aron lifted his arm but before he could bring it down upon River he was grabbed by a hand, "Leave my brother alone." Johnny hissed, he then punched Aron in his jaw and he fell to the floor next to River. Johnny then helped his brother up, "Get the hell out of here and if I even catch you near my brother again you'll have me to deal with." Aron rubbed his jaw, "Fine keep the little faggot I'm done with him anyways." Johnny punched him again but this time in his gut and he fell to his knees holding his stomach, "Don't push your luck I'm letting you walk out of here." River opened his eyes and he could hear his sister Lucy yelling at him from the back door, she was saying that he his phone went off while he was outside.


	7. Chapter 6 Logan's Most Painful Memory

-Logan's Condo-

After the phone call with his mother Logan laid down on his bed, he is still a little tired from earlier he hasn't had much sleep. He was worried about his life and the direction it was going and he has been working a lot lately but now on top of all that he has to worry about his dad and want he wants. Cause not only did he come see him but he also stopped by to see his mother, now he is wondering what his father is up to. He slowly closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep as he slept his dreams were filled with memories of the past. A sixteen year old Logan opened his eyes to the sight of a bright sunny day, as he slowly checked into reality he could hear yelling coming from downstairs he rolled his eyes as he climbed out of bed. _"Great dad is at again with mom.' _he thought to himself, he changed into a shirt and jeans and slowly walked out of his room and climbed down the stairs, "Morning." He dared not to look at his father for fear he would turn on him, "Morning son." Holly whispered. Logan walked pasted his dad and into the kitchen, "Logan dear Kendall called for you." "Okay thanks mom." "Why is he calling you? Is that your faggot of a boyfriend? I don't want you near that boy he is a little faggot and I will not have a faggot for a son!" "Brandon stop it, Kendall is not gay and neither is own son." Holly said. "Stay out of this woman!" Brandon shouted as he smacked her across the face, "Leave her alone!" Logan yelled. "Oh so you're man now?" Brandon stared at his son, "Then fight me like a man." "No." Logan stated. "I will not fight you." He backed down from his father and sat down on a chair at the dinning room table, "Get up and fight me, come on I know you want to." Brandon yanked Logan up from the chair, "Go on give me your best shot." "No, dad I'm not going to hit you." Logan said. Brandon balled his hand into a fist, he then launched it into Logan's stomach causing him to fall to his knees holding it, "Get up and fight me!" He then kneed Logan in the jaw as he fell back he hit the end of the table. Brandon stared at his son who is bleeding from the mouth and the back of his head, "Get up, you little faggot! Get up and fight me!" Logan closed his eyes as he father began to kick him in the gut, he laid there just wishing that all of this will come to an end as the tears flowed from his eyes he thought how great it would be if his favorite super hero would just appear and save him from his pain and suffering he has always had that dream but then he would wake to reality and know that it's just not gonna happen that way. Logan awoke to the sight of Kendall staring back at him, "Ken?" "Hey Lo, it's okay no one's here but me." Kendall helped him up, "What happened?" "My dad." Logan whispered. "Well, come he is gone and your gonna stay at my house tonight." Kendall helped Logan upstairs to collect some clothes then they walked out of his house and headed towards his house.

-Later-

Logan awoke he wondered how long he was out for so he checked the his clock and in bright red lights was 6:30, he quickly jumped outta his bed and ran into his bathroom and turned the shower on as he climbed in there was a knock on the door, "Yeah?" "Hey, Lo it's me Kendall can I come in?" "Sure!" Logan shouted over the water. Kendall opened the door and shut it behind him, "Carlos and James told me that you have a date with this River guy you met last night." "Yeah, I called him after I left work I figured why not I mean the worst thing would be him saying no right." Logan said as he washed his hair. "Yeap, Lo, just take things slow, I mean you have enough to worry about with your father being back in town and your mother's wedding." Kendall said. "I know, Ken, I'm not gonna rush into a relationship with River and besides he doesn't even live in Minnesota, he lives in Houston. He is juts here for his uncle's wedding." Logan said. "Ah, well, at least you'll make a friend." Kendall said. "Yeap, well listen I'm about to get out so if you wouldn't mind." Logan said. "Oh yeah sure." As Kendall stepped out of the restroom Logan shut the water off, he the stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist and walked into his room. He pulled out a nice black button down shirt with a red dragon design on the back and dark blue jeans of his closet, he pulled on his boxer-briefs on under the towel and put his clothes on lastly he slipped dark blue puma's on. He walked out of his room, "Whoa Logan, looking hot." James joked. "Thanks Jay." Logan smiled. "I see this River guy is a good thing for you?" Kendall said. "You could say that." Logan said. "Well, that's good bro, I'm happy for you." Kendall said. "Thanks, Ken." Logan grabbed his car keys, "Well, I'll see you guys later." He then walked out of the Condo.


	8. Chapter 7 The Date and Pain

-Billie's Bar-

Logan pulled his car into a parking space in front of the Bar as he shut the car off he glanced up and spotted River already waiting for him. He was sitting on a chair outside of the bar, he was wearing a black shirt and although it wasn't tight it still showed his muscles. He has on dark blue jeans and he is wearing black pumas. He smiles to himself before climbing out of his car, River stood up as he climbed down the steps, "Hey there I didn't think you were coming." "Sorry I fell asleep after I got home from work." Logan said. "It's cool. I understand." River smiled at Logan, "So do you wanna stay here or go somewhere else?" "It doesn't matter." Logan said. "How about this there is a park a few blocks away how about we go there so we can talk and get to know one another." Logan smiled cause out of all his friends he really doesn't like to drink much and he also loves the park. "Sure that sounds great." "Great well, let's go." River said. Before Logan knew it his hand slide into River's and all he did was smile at him. As they walked away hand-in-hand Logan's father had shown up, he entered the bar once they were out of sight. Logan loved the cool night air, "So how did you end up with a name like River? Is that your stage name?" River giggled a little, "No that's my actually name. You see my mom is an actress and well she named me and my siblings after famous people." "Really?" Logan said, "So what are their names?" "Well, my eldest sister Mae is named after Mae West, my eldest brother Presley is named after Elvis Presley. Then my brother Hudson is named after Rock Hudson and my sister Lucy is named after Lucille Ball. My twin brother Johnny is named after Johnny Depp and I'm named after River Phoenix." "Wow. Wait you have a twin?" Logan questioned. "Yeap he is older then me by two minutes." River said. "And Hudson and Lucy are twins as well." "Wow that's a big family. As of right now I'm the only child but my mom is pargent." Logan said. "So tell me about yourself Logan." River said. "There's not much to tell." Logan said. "Well, at sixteen me and my friends formed a band called Big Time Rush, we hit it big but when I turned 20 I decided that I wanted to study to become a doctor, so I went to school and now I'm a doctor." "Well, that's good so I take it that being a doctor was your dream?" River said. "Yes it has always been my dream. I mean don't get me wrong I enjoyed singing but." Logan said. They had made it to the park and sat down in the grass by the pound, "But your heart just wasn't in it." River said. "Yeah." Logan stated. "So you said that you here for your uncles wedding when do you head back to Houston?" "Not for awhile. I'm taking a break from singing cause I feel burned out and my managing team was for it." River said.

Logan laid his head on River's shoulder, he sighed as he watched the ripples in the pound and the moonlight shine off it, "This is nice." River smiled at Logan he then wrapped him up in his eyes, "Very nice." The both of them laid back on the grass, Logan placed his head on top of his chest, "River can I tell you something?" "Sure." "Well, I just want you to know that I like you, I think you're cute but I'm not ready for a relationship at least not yet." Logan said. After that it was silent, Logan took this as a bad sign, he closed his eyes and sighed. "Hey there what's wrong?" River asked. "Well, you didn't answer me so I take it that that's not what you want." Logan said. "Hey man it's cool with me I understand, listen I lost my boyfriend two months ago so I'm kinda in the same boat as you are." River said. "Really? What happened?" "He killed himself." River stated. Logan his hitting himself now he couldn't believe that he asked. Why did he ask? "I'm sorry I didn't mean to ask." "No, it's okay Logan, I'm fine. I mean sure it hurts but I have to move on with my life, I mean don't get my wrong there are nights when I still can't sleep or I cry myself to sleep but I'm okay." River said, "So I take it that past relationships have hurt you?" "Yeah, my first boyfriend was jealous of my friendship with Carlos. My second boyfriend messed with my head. My third boyfriend abused me and well my ex cheated on me with his best friend." Logan buried his head into River's chest, "Hey there listen you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to I don't want you to feel pain." "No it's okay, I just thought I had gotten over all of this a long time ago, but I guess it turns out that I'm not." Logan said. "It's okay it's hard to get over your past believe me I know." River said he held onto Logan tighter, "But don't worry I won't rush anything on you we can take this slow if that is what you want." "Thanks." Logan glanced at his watch it was close to about nine, "Listen I think we should call it a night I have to be at the hospital early tomorrow morning." "Okay that's fine." Logan stood up and was followed by River, "So do you meet sometime later tomorrow?" "Sure. We should meet for lunch." Logan said. "How long do you have for lunch?" River asked. "Usually an hour or two." Logan stated, "But I know of a place near the hospital." "Okay that sounds great." River said.

After a few minutes of walking they made it back to Billie's bar, River walked Logan to his car, "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow for lunch." "Yeap." Logan stated. River leaned towards Logan and placed his lips on top of his; his heart spiked a beat, he was hoping that River would give him a kiss good night and now that he is well, his mind just couldn't catch up with what was going on. His eyes closed and before he knew it his hands made their way into River's dark hair and without realizing he moaned into his mouth. Logan thought to himself that River was kissing him so much passion that he had almost forgotten what it felt like, to be kissed by someone who likes you and isn't looking for a one night stand. To be kissed with feeling and love behind it. And that's when he realize that he did want to be in a relationship, he wanted to be in a relationship with River. _'Oh god his lips feel so good. They feel like silk and they taste like cherries.'_ Logan thought. They pulled away from each other, "Well, goodnight, Logan." River smiled. "Night, River." Logan watched as he walked towards his car which was parked a few parking spaces away from his car. As Logan climbed into his car he smiled, "Logan!" Panicked shot up in Logan when heard that voice, "Dad?" He slowly turned around, "Dad, what're you doing here?" His dad stumbled towards him, he almost tripped while coming down the steps but he caught himself, "I c-c-c-came to...see...y-y-you." _'Great he is drunk.'_ Logan thought to himself, "Dad are you drunk?" "Yeah and what of it?" Brandon said. In that instant all of the memories and pain of his past rushed into his mind like a tidal wave, "Dad please just leave." "No." Brandon said, "Me and you need to have a little talk." Logan could smell the alcohol on his father's breath, "Dad just go, please." "No!" Brandon shouted. Logan filched, "Dad please don't do this." "Shut up you faggot!" Brandon yelled, "Just shut up!" He then punched Logan in the face and he fell to the ground, "I won't have a faggot for a son!" He then began to kick him in his gut, "Stop." Logan begged. "Shut up!" He then kicked Logan in the face causing blood to fly against his car and spill onto the ground. "Faggot! Faggot!" Brandon yelled. Before he could kick Logan again two arms wrapped around him and he was tossed towards the steps. River bent down to check Logan forgetting that Brandon was behind him, he turned around and was gonna attack River but before he could he heard the clocking sound of a shot gun, "Uncle Brandon I suggest that you leave." He then turned around and saw Holt standing there with a gun, "Fine." he began walking towards his truck, "Logan you're no son of mine, you're dead to me!" Holt stepped down the steps, "Is he okay?" River checked his pulse, "Yeah, he is fine. His pulse is strong just go call an ambulance." "Okay." Holt ran back into his bar. "Logan, I'll be right back." Logan nodded his head, River ran back to his car, "Hey bro listen I'll call you back. I have to go something happened. No, I'm fine it's-it's just listen I can't talk about it right now, yeah I'll tell you later, bye." He then returned to Logan; who was staring blankly into the night sky.


	9. Chapter 8 The Start a of Relationship

-Hospital-

Logan's mother; Holly Mitchell is running down a long white hallway with several lights shinning, she came to a stop in front of a nurses station, "Excuse me can you please tell me what room Logan Mitchell is in?" "And you are?" The nurse asked. "His mother." Holly stated. "He is in room 206. Which is up the hall, then turn right then it is the third room on the left." "Thank you." Holly darted off down the hall all she could think was '_Let him be okay.' _This was her worst fear come to life, she knew that nothing good was gonna come out of Brandon's being here. But why now? Why her baby? _'I swear if his dies because of this I will kill him.' _As she came into view of the waiting room see saw Holt sitting there, across from him were Kendall, James and Carlos. "Oh Holt thank god you were there. How is he?" Holt hugged his aunt, "They haven't told us anything yet, auntie. And you should really thank this guy." Holt pointed to the guy that was sitting next to him, "Thank you so much." Holly said, "What's your name?" River stood up, "River and you're welcome." "Ms. Mitchell." Holly turned around to see Dr. Lee standing there, "Is Logan okay?" "Logan will be okay, we were able to stop the bleeding. There was no real damage expect a broken rib or two and his left arm is broken but other then that he'll make a full recovery." "Can I see him?" Holly asked. "Yes but only you he still needs his rest and to many visitors will be to much for him." Dr. Lee said. "Okay." Holly stated, "Boys I'll let him know that you're here." Dr. Lee led Holly to Logan's room, "Logan your mom is here to see you." "Mom?" Logan questioned. Holly walked into the sight of her son laying on a bed with wires hocked up to him and a machine. She placed he hand over her mouth to keep from crying out loud and tears formed in her eyes. "Oh my poor baby." She walked over to him and bent down and gave him a hug, "Mom I'm okay." Logan whispered. "No you are not. I can't believe he did this to you." "Mom don't do anything to him just let it go please. I just want him out of my life for good." Logan said. "Logan I can't let him get away with this, he must pay." "Mom please." Logan begged. "Fine I'll leave him alone just for you." Holly smiled at her son and placed her hand on his cheek, "You know the guys are out there." "They are?" Logan asked. "Yes, they're worried about you." "Well, they will be happy to find out I'm fine." Logan forced a smile, "You rest now, I'm gonna go tell them all that you're okay." "Okay, mom." Holly placed a soft kiss on his forehead, "Sleep well, Logan." He closed his eyes as she walked out of his room, he sighed softly.

As he laid there tears fell from his eyes, for the life of him he couldn't phantom why his father would even bother to come back into his life just to beat him like this. Like he had just told his mother he just wanted his father to leave his life for good he was better off without him. As he slowly drifted off to sleep he dreamed of better time in his life; Logan along with Kendall, James, and Carlos entered the Palm Woods "Can you believe it guys, we are gonna be so big!" Carlos shouted. "Carlos calm down you don't know if we're gonna hit it big right away." Logan said. "And you can't say we won't." Carlos said. "With your voice and Kendall's voice. Plus my moves and James' face, I think we will." "You really think so?" Logan asked. He was hoping that what Carlos said was true cause after what his father did to him before he left he really didn't want to go back home. If this doesn't work out where would he go? Would he go back home? No he had already made up in his mind that if this whole boy band thing doesn't work out he would move in his older half-brother; Landon in Houston. Carlos flashed his smile and snapped at Logan, "I know so." All the boys smiled, "Then let's do this!" Kendall shouted. All four boys walked into the pool area of the apartments, they smiled, "Pool!" They boys removed their shoes and jumped in fully clothed, Logan was first to break the surface, he was then followed by the others, "Guys this is great I needed this." "Everything is going to turn out right Logan just wait and see." Kendall said. He then dunked Logan down into the water. As Logan again broke the surface of the water he saw a very upset Kelly standing there, "Guys you really need to get out of there and go change Gustavo wants you in the studio." "Do we have to? We just got here." Kendall said. "If you want to be big rock stars then yes." Kelly said. "Now come on let's go." "Fine." All four boys climbed out of the pool.

-Rocque Recorders-

All four boys stood before Gustavo, "Now dogs as long as you do as I say we will get along..." He was cut off by the sight of James and Carlos slapping each other, Kendall and Logan were just standing there smiling. "Carlos! James!" Both boys jumped in fright and all four boys turned their attention back on Gustavo. "Now as I was saying there won't be any problems with us if just listen to me and do as I say. Got it! Good!" Kelly rolled her eyes, "Now get in the studio and let's begin!" All four boys ran into the studio, "Must you yell at them?" Kelly asked. "Yes. If you have been in the business as long as I have you will learn that yelling is the only way to get people to do want you want." He turned towards the mixer broad, "Now let's begin look at the sheet in front of you and sing." The boys looked at the sheet in front of them and began to sing, three minutes later they stopped singing, "How was that?" Kendall asked. "Horrible! Now do it again but this time make it sound good!" Kelly hit him on his back, "Stop that. That sounded great." "I don't need great, I need a hit." Gustavo said. Again the boys sang the song but this time with more feeling and Logan and Kendall sang most of the song, "How was that?" Kendall asked. "Better, but Logan, you need to harmonize with Kendall better." Gustavo said. "Okay." Logan said. A few minutes later the boys flapped down on a sofa within the lobby of the studio, "Oh god this is hard, I didn't think it would be this hard." Logan groaned out. "Hey man it's okay we are living our dream. We're gonna be famous." James said. "Yeah but he is working us like dogs." Logan said. "Lo, come on it will get better you'll see." Kendall said. "Okay." Logan glanced up, he saw Gustavo talking with a young guy who looks to be about 17 or 18. He is wearing a nice blue shirt with blue jeans and he is holding a guitar. They then walked towards them, "Dogs this is Thomas Ashton and he will be working with you on your songs, so get to know him over the next few days. But you will report to the studio tomorrow morning seven am sharp." "Nice to meet you." Kendall said. "Yeah same here." Thomas said, "Listen I would really like to speak to you each one of in you separately." "Okay, so who would you like to see first?" James asked. "How about I start with Logan." Thomas said. The remaining boys watched as the both of them walked away, "So I hear you have the best voice out of the group." Logan blushed and looked away, "No I don't Kendall sings better." "That's not what I hear." Thomas said, "And besides I'll be the judge of who has the better voice." "It doesn't matter who sings better really we're a group and we love working together and would never choice anything over each other." Logan said. "Well, that's good." Thomas stated. He then shot a smile at Logan, "You're cute." Logan was thrown back by this for two reasons, one how did he know that he was gay? And two why would he think that he is cute? "No I'm not." "Yes you are, well, I think you are." Thomas said. Logan smiled and blushed, "Well, thanks." After a few minutes later Logan had returned along with Thomas, "Where's James?" Thomas asked. "He went to go look at himself in the mirror what else." Kendall said. "Okay, well come on Kendall." Thomas said. Kendall stood up as Logan sat down, Carlos threw on his helmet, "Hey Logan I have a great idea." Logan stared at Carlos, "What?" Carlos sat on a chair with wheels, "Push me, let's see how fast this thing can go." He bounced in the chair with excitement and with a grinning smile, "I don't know Carlos." "Oh come on it'll be fun." Carlos said. Logan was a little worried, "Alright but just this one time." "Okay." Carlos smiled. Logan stood behind the chair placing his hands on the back, "Ready?" "You bet." Carlos stated. Just as they were about to go Gustavo came around the corner, "Dogs! Sit!" Both Logan and Carlos sat down on the sofa, "So Logie, do you think this guy can really help us?" Carlos asked. "I don't know maybe, I mean we have to do what Gustavo says right?" Logan said. "Right." Carlos stated as James rejoined them, "Where's Kendall?" "With Thomas." Carlos said.

-Next Morning; Hospital-

Logan awoke the next morning with a small headache and a few swore muscles, "Hey there, Lo." Logan's eyesight cleared and he saw Kendall, James and Carlos, "Hey guys. What's up?" "Nothing much man." Kendall said, "How are you feeling?" "Swore but good." Logan said. Kendall's eyes began to water up, "I'm sorry I wasn't there, bro. I should've been there." "Ken, hey man it's not your fault. I'm okay don't beat yourself up over this." Logan said. "Kendall's right, Logie we should've seen this coming. We should've protected you from him." Carlos said. "Yeah man we're bros we stick together." James added. "Guys listen I love all of you but you can't always be protecting me, I have to learn how to stick up for myself. Now stop blaming yourselves." Logan said. "We'll try but we can't promise anything." Kendall said. "Hey guys how's River?" Logan asked. "He's doing good. Y'know he's the one who saved you." Kendall said. "Really? I really can't remember anything about last night expect our date, us kissing then everything goes blank after that." Logan said, "Did anything happen to him?" "No, Holt came out of the bar and pulled a gun out on your father." Kendall said. "Really? Well, I guess I should thank him the next time I see him." Logan said. "Hey Gustavo and Kelly send their best wishes and hope you get better real soon." James said. "Really, that's nice. Tell them I said thanks." Logan smiled at his best friends. "Oh yeah before I forget River did say that he'll stop by later to see you, he just had to run home to shower and change." Carlos said. "Great." Logan stated, "So what should I do guys? Should I press charges on my father or not?" "Well, bro that's really not up to us that's up to you." Kendall said. "Yeah man but you do realize that if you do it won't just be an assault they might see it as a hate crime." Carlos said. They all stared at Carlos, "What? I know about these things." "Okay, Carlos." James stated. "So what are you gonna do Logan?" "I don't know I have to think about it cause I really just want him out of my life for good and if I press charges and if they see it as a hate crime like Carlos said he'll still be in my life at least for awhile." Logan said. "Well, what ever you decide we'll stand behind you." Kendall said. Just then River entered the room, "Hey." "Hey." Logan stated, "Hey guy would you mind giving us a few minutes?" "You bet bro." Kendall said. As the three of them walked out of the room River pulled a chair up beside his bed, "How are you feeling?" "Good, I'm just a little swore and embarrassed." Logan said. "You shouldn't be embarrassed it wasn't your fault for what happened." River placed his hand on top of Logan's, "Gay bashers are everywhere." "Well, that's the thing this wasn't a gay bashing, the man who attacked me was my father." Logan fought back tears. "Hey there." River placed his hand under his chin, "It's okay you can cry if you want to I don't mind." Logan looked into River's eyes, "No it's okay I'm not gonna cry." "Logan crying isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. And believe me I have cried my share." River said. Logan smiled he couldn't believe that there was a guy out in this hateful and painful world like this, showing emotions was never something Logan could do with a father like his he had to always hid his emotions never showing a sign of weakness. Then his past boyfriends didn't help much either, especially his second boyfriend; Danny Orlando every time Logan would show any sign of his feelings he would treat him like crap and beat him. River took Logan's hand into his, "Don't worry if you wanna cry go ahead." Logan looked into River's green eyes then before he knew it he broke down crying. River then began to sing and his voice sounded so nice that all Logan could do was think of birds singing in the spring.

_A magic moment I remember: _

_I raised my eyes and you were there. _

_A fleeting vision, the quintessence _

_Of all that's beautiful and rare. _

_I pray to mute despair and anguish _

_To vain pursuits the world esteems, _

_Long did I near your soothing accents, _

_Long did your features haunt my dreams. _

_Time passed- A rebel storm-blast scattered _

_The reveries that once were mine _

_And I forgot your soothing accents, _

_Your features gracefully divine. _

_A magic moment I remember: _

_I raised my eyes and you were there. _

_A fleeting vision, the quintessence _

_Of all that's beautiful and rare._

_In dark days of enforced retirement _

_I gazed upon grey skies above _

_With no ideals to inspire me, _

_No one to cry for, live for, love. _

_Then came a moment of renaissance, _

_I looked up- you again are there, _

_A fleeting vision, the quintessence _

_Of all that's beautiful and rare._

_A magic moment I remember: _

_I raised my eyes and you were there. _

_A fleeting vision, the quintessence _

_Of all that's beautiful and rare._

_A magic moment I remember: _

_I raised my eyes and you were there. _

_A fleeting vision, the quintessence _

_Of all that's beautiful and rare._

_(A Moment to Remember by Alexander Pushkin)_

After River was done singing Logan had stopped crying and he smiled, "That was beautiful." "I thought you were gonna like it, it's a poem that my management team thought would make a good song." River said. "So what do you think?" "I think it will make a good song, but why did you sing it to me?" Logan asked. "Because for the moment I first saw you I knew that I had found someone special and Logan I want you to know that if you would allow me I would like nothing more then to be your boyfriend." Logan smiled, he knew that he wanted for nothing more then to be River's boyfriend. "I would like that very much." River stood up, he then leaned down a place his lips on top of Logan's.


	10. Chapter 9 The End

-Few Days Later-

Over the next few days everything in Logan's life was great, his mother had gotten married to a wonderful man, his brother Landon is coming to Minnesota for a few days, there has been no signs of his father but most of all he is in a relationship with River and he couldn't be happier. He has been on a break from work till he his broken arms heals and during that time River has been by his side, seeing how Kendall and James have gone back to L.A. There was room in the Condo for the four of them. "Hey River, I'm sorry that we haven't been able to really doing anything." "What, Logan you don't have to be sorry." River joined him on the bed, "You're my boyfriend and nothing would make me happier then taking care of you." "Are you sure River?" Logan asked. "Yes and besides it has given me time to get to know Carlos better." River smiled at him. "Yeah now I'm really sorry Car, can be kinda crazy sometimes." Logan said. "Nay, it's okay I think he is a really cool guy although some of the things he does is kinda out there." River giggled. "Yeah but he is also fun to be around." Logan said. "Yeap and Michelle is nice." River wrapped Logan in his arms, "Oh by the way my family wants to meet you." "Whoa should I be worried?" Logan asked. "Nope, my family will love you and besides I'm dating you not them so it really doesn't matter what they say or think." River said. Logan sat there wrapped in his boyfriends arms, he could believe that his life would take a turn like this nor do he think that he deserved this. All of his life he has been told that he was worthless, that he is weak and that no one would love him and he would never be happy. Most of that came from his father that's what his father would yell at him when he beat him that and that one word faggot. And his past boyfriends did that same thing to him all they would do was make him feel weak, make him feel like he left them that he would never find true happiness. But all that changed the day he met River Deveruax, he found happiness. As Logan sat there wrapped up in his arms he heard an knock on his door, "Hey Logie, can I come in?" "Sure, Car." Carlos opened the door and walked, "Umm, listen Logie, you have a visitor." "Really? Who?" Logan asked. "That would be me." A tall man wearing a black shirt with a black jacket and blue jeans walked in, "Landon!" Logan shouted he jumped off his bed and ran to his brother. "I take it you're happy to see me?" Landon asked. "You have no idea." Logan said, "Oh Landon this is River my boyfriend." "Nice to meet you." Landon said, "Wait you're the singer River Deveruax?" "Yeap." River said. "Oh wow, way to go Logan." Landon said. "Stop it." Logan stated. "So have you been by to see mom?" "No, not yet but I have talked to her on the phone. I told her that I was gonna come see you first." Landon said he then noticed the cast on Logan's arm, "I can't believe he did that to you. Have you heard from him since that night?" "Nope and I'm happy that I haven't." Logan said. "I'm sorry bro, I should've warned you, he called me and told me that he was coming to see you I just didn't think he was gonna do something like this." Landon said. "It's okay, I'm okay." Logan said. "So how's work?" Landon asked. "Good, I just can't work at the moment you know broken arm and all." Logan said.

-Later-

Landon, Logan, Carlos and River are all sitting in the living room talking, well, Landon is doing most of the talking he is telling stories of when Logan was young and all the dumb things he would do. "You're joking Landon, I have never known Logan to do something like that." Carlos said. "Nope, I'm not joking little Logan here was quite the little dear devil when he was younger." Landon said. "Shut up." Logan stated. "So you're saying that Logan actually jumped from the roof of your house into the pool?" Carlos questioned. "Yeap and every time he would get yelled at by our mom." Landon said. "But leave it to Logan to doing it again once she was inside." Carlos laughed, "Wait till James and Kendall hear about this." "Oh god, Car, you can't tell them." Logan said. "Please don't tell them?" "How can I not tell them, Logan?" Carlos asked. "Cause if you do I'll kill you." Logan said. "Oh, Logie they will love to know how reckless you were when you were a kid." Carlos said. "Don't worry Carlos I'll keep occupied so he can't stop you from telling them." River said. "Hey you're supposed to be on my side." Logan said. "What? I was reckless as a kid to." River said. "So bro how did you two meet?" Landon asked. "Well, we met at a bar." Logan said. "I had just got done having a fight with Carlos, so I stepped outside and then the next I knew I was talking with River, then later on he sang on stage and when I heard his voice I knew that I wanted him to be my partner." "Wow sounds like it was love at first sight, bro." Landon stated. "I thought it was." Logan said. "But I really knew for sure when we had our first date." "What did you two do?" Landon asked. "Well, we met at the bar then walked to the park and just sat there and talked." "I bet that was nice." Carlos said. "It was till the nightmare happened." Logan said. "Okay change of subject." Landon said. "How was mom's wedding?" "It was great, you should've seen her in her dress. She looked so beautiful." Logan said. "I bet she did and this guy she married what's his name Michael is it?" Landon said. "Yeah." Logan sighed, "He's a good guy, he has treated mom like a queen which she deserves." He then placed his hand on his forehead, "Logan are you okay?" River asked. "Yeah, I'm fine." Logan stated, he then took a deep breath of air. All three of grew worried, "Are you sure you're okay Logan?" "Yeah...I'm...fin..." Logan trailed off as he collapsed on to River, "Oh god." He picked Logan up, "Does this happen often?" Landon asked. "No, listen Dr. Lee's number is in his cell, call her and tell her what happened, I'm gonna put him in his bed." "Okay." Landon grabbed Logan's cell as River carried him off to his room, once in there he placed him on his bed and laid next to him, "Oh god Logan, you had better be okay." Landon came into the room, "Okay Dr. Lee said that she'll be here soon. Do you know what happened to him?" "No I don't. Hopefully she will." River said, he then climbed out of the bed, "Listen how about we wait for her out in the living room and let him rest. He'll be fine his pulse is still strong." "How do you know that?" Landon asked. "I checked it and I learned a little bit of medical things." River said. "Okay." Landon let River led him out into the living room he knew that he could trust him cause he does love Logan so he knew that he wouldn't let any harm come to him. They all sat down, "So River, Logan told me that you're a singer." Landon said. "Yeah I'm on a break right now." River said. "Oh what happened?" Carlos asked. "I was kinda rushed out into the public eye and kinda got burned out." River said. "Ah, well that sucks man." Carlos stated. "Yeap but after a few months I'm gonna head back into the studio." River smiled, "I like being a singer." There was a knock on the door, Carlos stood up and answered it, "Thank you for coming Dr. Lee." "No problem. Where's Logan?" Dr. Lee asked. "In his room." Carlos led her to Logan's room. Once inside she checked Logan, after a few minutes she walked out, "Okay he is fine, he is just exhausted." Dr. Lee said. "Has he been getting any rest?" "Well, I have only spent one night here and he fell asleep in my arms, I'm not sure." River said. "I go to bed before him so I'm not sure if he sleeps at all." Carlos said. "Well, then I guess we just have to wait and ask him." Dr. Lee said.

-Logan's Dream-

Logan awoke to the sounds of yelling and banging noises, "How in the hell can you just sit there and not saying anything?" "Easily he his my son and I will love him no matter what!" That was his mom and dad having another one of their fights which seemed to be about him, he sat up in bed just as his brother entered his room, "Logan are you up?" "Yeah Landon." Landon sat down on the end of his bed, "Listen I know you can hear mom and dad fighting down there but don't worry about anything I won't let him touch you." Landon said. "Thanks bro." Logan stated, "But why are they fighting I didn't do anything wrong?" "Well, dad is an asshole so in his eyes nothing we do is right." Landon pulled his younger brother into his arms, "Don't worry as long as I am here he won't hurt you." "Thanks, Lan." Logan sobbed into his brother's chest. Just then the door flew open, slamming against the wall, it cause both Landon and Logan to jump in fright. "Landon go to your room. I need to talk to Logan alone." "No." Landon stated he stood up in between his father and brother. "I said go to your room." Brandon said. "And I said no." Landon stood his ground. Brandon lifted his and smacked his older son, "Go to your room damn it!" Before Landon could stand up his father tossed him against the closet door. He then turned towards Logan, "Now as for you." "No, daddy please don't." Logan begged. His father lifted his hand and began to smack him, "I told you that I never wanted to see you playing with a boy ever again. I told you that I will not have a faggot for a son!" All Logan could do was cry as his father hit him, "Stop crying like a little faggot!" Landon picked up a bat and swung it hitting his father on the back, "Get off of him!" He then hit his father in the leg, "You little shit." Landon stood in front of his brother with the bat raised, "Leave him alone." "I'll take care of you later." Brandon stumbled out of the the room. Landon ran to the door and locked it, he then dropped the bat and pulled his brother into his arms, "I'm so sorry Logan." Logan cried in his brother's arms, "It's okay, everything will be alright." Logan just cried he couldn't stop, "Shh I won't let him hurt you again."

-Logan's Condo-

Logan awoke in his room with tear stained cheeks, he glanced around and noticed that River was asleep on a chair, he stood up and walked over to him. He smiled as he stared at him, he then gave him a kiss on his forehead and covered him with a blanket. River moaned as he walked out of the room, all Logan did was smile. He walked into the kitchen and pored himself a glass of water, "Morning Logan." He jumped, "Fucking hell, Lan, you scared me." "Sorry, listen can we talk?" Landon said. "Sure." Logan walked into the living room and sat down, "What's up?" "How are you feeling?" Landon asked as he sat up on the sofa. "Good." Logan said, "Listen before you do the whole big brother thing I know that I blacked out earlier and I know why. I was exhausted cause I'm not sleeping cause every time I try to go to sleep I have nightmares and I just can't sleep." "Well, you wanna talk about it?" Landon asked. "Well I keep have nightmares that involve dad." Logan said. "Ah." Landon stated, "Listen that's what I wanna talk about. I know when we were young I broke a promise that I made you and I want you to know that I'm sorry for that." "Lan, you couldn't help it dad sent you away it's not like you left cause you wanted to." Logan said. "I know but I still feel bad, I mean if I hadn't left he wouldn't have beaten you so much." Landon said. "It's doesn't matter I think that dad would've still found a way to beat me even if you had stayed." Logan said, "And besides he probably would've found a way to beat you as well." Landon looked at his brother with tears forming in his eyes, "But still I feel bad for what he did to you." "It's okay, I'm fine." Logan said. "All I want to do is just forget about it." Logan walked into his room just as River had opened his eyes, "Hey you, how are you feeling?" "Good and thanks for calling Dr. Lee." Logan said. "No prob." River stood up and wrapped his arms around Logan, "This feels nice." Logan led them towards his bed and they laid down with Logan placing his head on top of River's chest, "Sleep well, Logie." Logan smiled after River whispered that normally he wouldn't let anyone but Carlos call him that but hearing it come from River just made him feel loved.


End file.
